Friends

It's funny how life works out. We get involved and sometimes think that alot of people just don't have the time to put the effort in that it takes to keep a friendship. You may begin to think, well that's ok, we all change and for the most part we make alot of friends, but eventually move on. Over the last few months, I had begun to notice that I didn't hear from alot of my friends quite as much anymore. I completely understand, as we all have lives to live and mine especially is pretty different from theirs. Most of them don't have kids like I do, so I rarely have the chance to make time to see them, and I live so far out of Springfield, that it takes alot of planning for them to come here. It's understandable, and that's the way most of my friendships go, around for a while, gone for a while, and only one or two that make the cut for good. However, I would like to happily say, that I have been proven slightly wrong recently. In my time of need, they are there. Suddenly reappearing and trying to help keep my spirits up. Here I was, thinking I was all alone in the world, short of my family and kids, and they were paying more attention than I knew. I don't know what I would do without any of them, and the gratitude I have will last forever. I love them all, and every person who has been in my life, even if they're not still around. We all need friends like that, and I'm ecstatic that I do.

Ending and Beginnings

I saw a quote once that I loved, because it seems to be a perfect discription of how I try to live my life. It said: Every story has and end, but in life every ending is just a new beginning. I don't regret the stories in my life that have ended at all, because I know that everything happens for a reason, and each chapter just brings me closer to the end of the book. I thought I was completely in love with someone, but as they say, love is blind, and for some odd reason I couldn't see that he didn't love me the same way. Another story that has suddenly ended, and at first I thought I would just die from the pain. Two days later, here I am, still alive and kickin, and dealing much better than I thought. I know there are many opportunities for love out there, and eventually some day, maybe sooner than I think, it will find me. After realizing that he didn't feel the same and putting myself in his shoes, I realized that I don't want to be with someone that doesn't want me. Also enlightening was the fact that most of the things my love for him was stemming from weren't real. So, therefore, how could I feel so strongly when they were feelings that came based from a lie? I'm keeping my chin up, and it is hard to get used to being alone again, but I have my girls keeping me smiling. They are the best medicine for heartbreak in the whole world. When I look at them I realize, that no man in this world will ever make me feel the way they do. I'm going to move on, not give up on love, and not blame the next person for someone else's mistakes. I know I have enough love inside of me to give it all to someone who will eventually not abuse it and it will be the best feeling of fulfillment in the world. There's someone out there for me, I know it. Even though at times it seems like he'll never show his face, but I can feel it out there somewhere, even though I may have never met him yet. Then again, maybe I have met him already and opportunity has not made it possible for us quite yet. Who knows...but I won't give up and I won't let rejection defeat me. Someone will love me for who I am, mistakes and all, and not judge me for them. Someone will realize that all I have ever wanted is to be completely in love and not have a doubt in my mind. That I want that person to be by my side when I'm sick, give me a hug when I cry, and holding my hand as I take my last breath of life.

Things I Love

The little things I love the most...
The little things I love the most...
-I love that I miss someone
-watching my kids play make-believe
-Sydney's laugh
-Katy's arguments
-writing
-driving in the country for no reason
-gas station pizza
-dressing up for a nice sushi dinner
-popcorn and a movie
-kissing boo boo's
-adrenaline from watching a scary movie
-hearing "Good morning, Mommy"
-saying "I love you" and meaning it
-clean kids and jammy's after a bath
-birthday's
-feeding the ducks with the girls
-sunsets
-sunrises in the summer at the lake
-my refrigerator covered in children's drawings
-going for a ride in a hot car
-laughing
-crying
-getting a txt msg that just says "I miss you"
-poems
-irony
-cuddling on the couch
-proving a point
-reading a fairy tale book with a perfect ending
-Disney movies
-BBQ's
-listening to my girls have a real discussion from outside the room
-the way my dog thinks she can talk to me
-my cat AJ's loyalty through thick and thin
-my life
-thunderstorms
-cooking
-music
-thinking about things I don't have the answer to
-putting a smile on someone else's face
-answering "Are we there yet?"
-surprises
-flowers for no reason
-love songs
-walks
-goodnight kisses
-holding hands
-pictures
-when my kids outgrow their shoes
-winter clothes
-floating on the river in the hot summer sun
-camp fires
-fairies
-dragonflies
-laying on the cool grass on a hot summer night and looking at the stars
.....I could go on forever, but these are just a few

Blue Plate Monday's

So my English professor has this awesome blog that I found. She does a little thing she likes to call "Blue Plate Monday's" in which you enter a recipe to share each Monday. Why "Blue"? Because she collects pieces of dishware that are blue and white, and by the looks of it, she has alot to be proud of. Anyway, as I have mentioned before, I love to cook, and like finding new dishes to prepare for my family. I also love to share my recipes unlike many women out there who think they consist of gold flakes somewhere in the ingredients and won't share. I like knowing that people enjoy my food, and it makes me feel accomplished to know that they enjoy it. So here is one that I get alot of compliments on, and I hope you like it as much as I do. It's a recreation I got from my mom, that she actually recreated first after ordering it in a restaurant (I like my version better tho).

Mushroom Bowls

4 large Portebello Mushroom tops
small container ricotta cheese
8 oz.french onion dip
4 oz.sour cream
shredded Italian blend cheese
box of seafood beer batter
butter flavored crisco

First you will need to heat up a deep fryer or butter flavored crisco in a deep pan. Also, preheat oven to 350. First cut off any stem that may be left on the mushrooms so they are flat on the bottom. Wash the mushrooms and set aside lightly folded up in a paper towel to dry. Mix the batter according to the directions, you can use the preference of beer vs. water to your liking and set aside. Next mix the ricotta, sour cream and french onion together in a seperate bowl. Once the oil is heated up, dip the mushrooms in the batter and coat them completely, and fry for only about a minute and a half each, then set aside to cool for about 5 mins. Now, flat side of the mushrooms up, pile on the mix of dip, sour cream and ricotta until there's a pretty good amount on top. Sprinkle the shredded cheese on top of that until again a good amount (more the better). Now, place the mushrooms on a cookie sheet covered with aluminum foil, because this will end up a little messy! Put into the oven for about 10 mins or until the cheese is melted and the topping is spilling over. Now, just cut into it and enjoy! It's a little messy to eat but is very filling and goes great with some pasta!

A Blog About Blogging

In the past I had used blogging a few times on Myspace just to get things out that I needed to get off my chest, or maybe to post an inspiring poem or two that I would find occassionally. I have found with this assignment, I feel more confident with my blogging on this site,because I know that the other people reading it are here for the same reason I am. Just to write, that's it. No showing off pictures or playing games or flirting or anything like that. The people here are blogging just because they enjoy writing, like me. Therefore, I have found that I have not blogged one single time on Myspace since I started here. I've been thinking about how I got started because of an assignment, but I think when it's over, I'll continue. Even though I don't have alot of followers or anything like that, I like to think that maybe people are reading, and just not letting me know. I enjoy the fact that I can get things out and not really worry about what people think of it. We bloggers all have our days where we type things and post them, even if they don't make alot of sense, but nobody thinks a thing of it, because we all understand. I read a blog recently about "blog lurkers" and for a while, I admit I was one of these people. Casusally searching and reading public blogs just to see what the world had to say, but not leaving any comments or questions about it. This person dared us lurkers to come out and start leaving responses because in truth, we all know that we enjoy them, and like to know what people think, and that somebody is hearing what we have to say. All in all, I'm liking this blog thing, and have even been trying to turn some other people on to it as well.

What Is a Place-Pre-Write

So as I'm sure you all know, we have an essay due on Monday. It's supposed to be about a place, personal or not. It could be a place you haven't even been to but have always wanted to know more about. This is my pre-writing to get some ideas for that because really, I have many. The first thing that pops into my head is of course my hometown of Conway, here in Missouri. It's a tiny little town where "everyone knows your name" and sometimes they even know what you did on Friday night before you do. There were alot of good and bad memories growing up there, all of which created who I am today. Took me a while to get here, as alot of those things were pretty traumatic for any teen, but were also very character-building. I know there would be alot of things I could find out about it and definitely end up with many pages, but I'm afraid they wouldn't be as interesting words to you as they are to me. Another place I think of is a place that my family once went on vacation to and it ended up in near tragedy. There was a flash flood and I thought my brother was dead, but I think he's writing about that in another class so it's out of the picture. San Antonio and my first trip there to see the Gulf of Mexico flashes in my memories, as that was my first clue I was unhappy in my marriage at the time. We were there on our one year anniversary, so yet again, pretty personal and probably not much fun to hear about. I have always wanted to go to Ireland, it's my number one dream destination. However, there's a guy in our class who absolutely lives and breathes Ireland, so I'm sure he'll write about that and I wouldn't want to torture our teacher with the same place twice. So, I think I have decided on my second dream destination, New Zealand. There aren't any bad memories there, only the good ones I hope will be established there one day, and there's plenty to research as well. Besides, who wouldn't want to write about all the possibilities and history of such a gorgeous piece of land?

Sadie-Amazing Dog Tricks

So as I have said before, I have a completely amazing dog. She is so smart sometimes it just bewilders me. Today being a beautiful day, I went to the store to restock my children's outdoor toys, and in the mess of goodies I ended up with bubbles, frilly wands the wave in the wind, a bouncy ball, a ball and bat, and a frisbee. I didn't really think my kids would be old enough quite yet to learn, but thought it might give my boyfriend and I something to do at the park while the kids play. Of course, I was proved wrong, as my kids took a huge interest in it and learned very quickly how to throw it, and even catch about every other one I tossed their way. Even more amazingly, as I taught my kids this simple but fun sport I heard my dog barking behind me every time we threw it. She wanted the frisbee. She already speaks, and sits, and plays fetch with a tennis ball, so I thought to myself..."How would you teach a dog to play frisbee?" I came inside and quickly looked up different techniques on the internet, most of them being pretty much the same. 1. Introduce the frisbee by playing tug of war with it, always letting the dog win. 2. Roll it along the ground and reward her when she chases it. 3. Once she gets the hang of doing that command her to bring it back. 4. Start tossing it up or holding it high off the ground to get her to jump for it and reward her. 5. Start throwing short tosses to get her to grab it out of the air, now that it's a favorite toy. Now this process is supposed to take place over the course of a few days. I'm proud to say that after about 20 minutes of playing with it, she's already retrieving it and "trying" to catch it in the air. She hasn't quite succeeded yet, but not for lack of trying. I'm just amazed that she's even jumping for it already and gets the concept. I can't wait to spend the weekend teaching her and I think she'll be a pro in no time!